Giving birth is a significant moment in a mother's life. It represents a physical, psychological, social, financial, and sexual change. This last aspect is the one we want to focus on so you can experience a smooth sexual experience.
The postpartum period
Typically, the medical team recommends a minimum of six weeks before starting to resume sexual activity.
This period allows the mother to recover from childbirth or a cesarean section, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. The second parent is also experiencing a transition: a change in status, a new role, a potential feeling of helplessness, fatigue, etc. The key to navigating this time smoothly: communication. Talk about your fears and desires, open the dialogue about this new chapter. Also take advantage of this time to reestablish intimacy; hug, kiss, be gentle and patient.
The "first time"
Your first sexual encounter after childbirth (or cesarean section) can be accompanied by certain challenges – both for you and your partner.
Don't rush things. Choose a quiet time when you won't be disturbed. Obviously, a baby is unpredictable, but a time when they've just gone down for a nap can be a great time.
Use lubricant. Although a woman's body is designed to lubricate itself naturally, anxiety combined with hormonal and physiological changes can slow or diminish this lubrication. A silicone-based lubricant is highly recommended, as it is not absorbed by the body, providing intense and prolonged lubrication.
Take your time. Start with caresses and gradually increase. Complete intercourse doesn't necessarily have to include penetration. When you decide to reintroduce penetration, you may feel a pinch or tingle; this is completely normal; your body is recovering from an unimaginable physical ordeal, and it's important to remember that. Stay in tune with your body and actively communicate with your partner. By guiding them, you'll be able to find a rhythm and a position that's comfortable for you. If the pain doesn't dissipate, you can stop the activity or start caresses again. By progressing slowly and steadily, you'll find your rhythm together.
If you've had a cesarean delivery, your body will react differently. Since the affected area isn't the same, your pain won't be the same. Find a comfortable position, use pillows if needed, and let your partner know of any concerns that might dampen your enthusiasm. Be advised not to put pressure on your abdomen and to treat this area with extreme gentleness.
Your personal work.
Your sexuality begins with yourself. It is essential to prioritize our physical and psychological well-being in order to have a fulfilling sexuality. Although your body has undergone physical transformations, it is this same body that has carried and given life, love it as much as it deserves [1] .
Exercise. Vaginal weights will be of great help in regaining control of your physiological functions. At the hospital, you will have had an explanation on the importance of Kegel exercises and will have been encouraged to do about 100 a day. To avoid adding an extra task to your already busy days, simply use the weights that will do the work for you while you can continue with your daily activities.
Motherhood is a precious gift from your body. Take care of it and give it back by giving it a healthy sex life.
AVAILABLE RESOURCE: https://postbabyhankypanky.com/
[1] Author's note: Having experienced childbirth and a difficult physical change myself, I understand that it is easier said than done. We must give ourselves permission; the right to be exhausted, the right to find ourselves ugly, the right to want to give it all up. On the other hand, we must also make the effort to recognize our beauty, recognize our new strengths and take a little of the love we have for our child and give it back to ourselves. It is a long process, but it pays off.