Desdesire and sexual arousal, do you know the difference?

A widespread confusion

If you are asked what is the difference between desire and Excitement It will take a few moments to think about it, right? These two elements of sexuality are often confused. Distinguishing them allows a better understanding of the mechanisms at the heart of sexual interactions.

Sexual arousal: A physical response

The Sexual arousal Is an automatic and physiological reaction of the body in response to a real or imagined sexual stimulus. The heart rate accelerates, the blood vessels become gorged and the erogenous zones are awake. In men, this physical manifestation is erection whereas in women, it is a Vagina lubrication.


The excitement can be anticipated, the body activates itself to simple thoughts. Also present during sexual activities, and plays a crucial role in the level of pleasure: a Sexual arousal Intense increases the receptivity of the body, amplifying the pleasure.

To each his desire

The desire, for its part, is a mental and emotional state. It expresses the desire to engage in sexual activity to satisfy anticipated and desired pleasure in contact with another person. The desire is a subjective experience since it varies from person to person. It is influenced by the person's preferences, past experiences, education, beliefs and state of mind. It varies from person to person. It can also influence the pleasure felt during sexual activity.

Can there be Sexual arousal Without desire or the other way around?

Although excitement and desire are usually associated, it happens that this is not the case. Your partner or conquest can be physically excited without feeling desire, or feel desire without having a corresponding physical reaction. This is what the scientific community calls sexual mismatch. This phenomenon is actually quite common and experienced by a majority of people. It shows that sexuality is complex and influenced by multiple factors.


That is why it is important not to interpret physical signs of Sexual arousal To a desire to undertake or pursue sexual activity. The notion of Consent Is now well integrated into minds and understood by the majority. Verbally validating your partner's desire to start or continue sexual activity is crucial.


It also happens that the desire manifests itself without the physical response. The mechanical response of the body does not match the mental state of the person who is experiencing desire. In women, it is common that Sexual arousal Is not accompanied by Vagina lubrication, this for various reasons. The Lubricants Then play an important role for comfort and sexual pleasure. You should not hesitate to use it.

The desire, not the same for everyone.

The desire varies from person to person, as does the sexual appetite. The libido gap Is present in the majority of couples. Rest sure, it is normal even if it is a source of conflict for many. Differentate spontaneous desire from reactive desire Gives some way to understand this gap.


Spontaneous desire is characterized by sudden invies as reactive desire is awake in response to stimulation. To know these trends of desire helps to understand each other. Are you more of the spontaneous. e or reactive. ve type? And your partner? These are interesting questions to ask.


If your partner has a different type of desire than yours, don't feel guilty. A Open communication And authentic about your sexual desires and desires can ease the tensions created by these differences.

Nourish desire and overcome obstacles

The desire is complex with psychological, emotional and relational components. Sexuality is a powerful engine in a relationship. Some sexologists have also developed the concepts of accelerator and brake on desire. These concepts once again make it possible to better understand each other since the desire varies according to the person, but also according to the context.


Think about what Nourish your desire in relationship , As well as that of your partner is a good step towards a more successful sex life. This conversation brings a sensitivity to the other's desire and informs him of what makes us vibrate sexually. Also identify elements or behaviors that harm desire and work together to overcome them.


Sometimes these are physical factors that adversely affect our sexual development. Floravi offers several products that promote sexual health. Developed with the help of health experts, our products are available in most major pharmacies in Quebec. Do not hesitate to ask them to your pharmacist. ne. Or to navigate on Our site To discover them.

Sources: Swiss medical review; site The sexologist; Small Handbook of feminist sex.

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